Sunday, October 13, 2013

Debt Feeling

If you're like me, words like "disaster," "crisis," and "fiasco" are only used after I've attended an open bar work function. 

But they've been tossed around a lot this October. So much so, it seems Republicans don't know the meaning of the word fear. But then they don't know the meanings of most words. Sure, they're getting a little carried away, the problem is it's never far enough. 

But I'm not concerned. After all, our founding fathers foresaw an abundance of potential congressional fuck ups and took precautions against them.

It's a little know fact that every statue in DC is subject to a powerful ancient enchantment activated by a primordial spell.

Amici nostri adversarii, insaniunt sicut Republicanas hatters. Habent orationis impedimentum pes eorum. Scio jus non vidi partis ire off hoc cursu cum Shackleton expeditione. Nunc autem excitaret homines et protegam civitatem nostram!

[Friends, our Republican adversaries are mad like hatters. They suffer from a speech impediment, their foot. I know right, I haven't seen a party go this off course since the Shackleton Expedition. But now awaken men and protect our city!!]

They will then fully animate and proceed to rummage through the pockets each WMA resident until the coffers are full.

Since October 17th is really a soft deadline for impending financial doom, it's fortunate we have such an effective back up plan. Like a parachute that opens on impact.