Saturday, November 15, 2014

20 Things My Little Brother Has Learned About The District

My little brother is celebrating his second anniversary in our great Nation's Capital (or as our parents' refer to it, the fast-paced city-life he's chosen over settling down and giving them grandchildren.) 

The following twenty items are nuggets of wisdom he's collected over the past two years of Washington, D.C. residency:

20.  Happy Hour is kind of a big deal 

19.  Non-stop construction, business growth, and corruption

18.  The weather is nice for about 3 weeks in October

17.  People love complaining about how long their commute is. Monday morning is like a contest on who drives the farthest

16.  "I'm from DC" "Oh really, where?" "Bethesda"

15.  Everyone has a friend who works for the CIA, who doesn't actually work for the CIA 

14.  Karaoke here is full of nepotism 

13.  Everyone is hiring, just not you

12.  People name drop like elsewhere, but it's way more esoteric: "So I was talking to the Deputy Secretary of Commerce Bruce H. Andrews and he loved my Tariff Proposal"

11.  Taxation without representation

10.  The Non-Profit industry surprisingly employees thousands of people 

9.  Food desserts 

8.  Never cross the Anacostia 

7.  In terms of travel, Virginia might as well be the moon

6.  Brunch makes Sunday morning Binge Drinking feel responsible

5.  "$1,300/month for a converted sunroom? That's an amazing deal!"

4.  I can look up your salary. And I will 

3.  DC Metro, "Expect delays in all directions due to single tracking"

2.  Rush hour is every hour

1.  Everyone has a fictitious, but completely reasonable sounding explanation on building height restrictions

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