Friday, April 19, 2019

Your Single Girlfriend

With its dating follies, lowered standards, and that drunken 2:00am phone call to my ex-boyfriend, there’s a lot of things that aren't so great about being single.


But if dating is a battlefield, your Single Girlfriend is your Major Winters. A stylish symbol of sisterhood, she'll guide you like a beacon through the trenches. This wondrous wing-woman can be counted on to spot a wedding ring from 50 yards, flirt with the bald friend, or put you in a cab at the end of the night with strict instructions for the cab driver to take you to your apartment and your apartment only.

While your coupled girlfriends circulate complaints about their relationship (which you'd best not have an opinion on) unsolicited dating tips, and those fun-free dinner invites with her and her guy (when you prayed the sangria was strong enough for you to drink yourself into a blackout,) your Single Girlfriend is a tough love distributing bestie who will be honest about your career; why not to invite your boss to Happy Hour; and how no one has really gained weight on the Pill since 1967. She'll touch up your eyeliner, wash the wine stains off your shirt, or field a phone call from Gram-Gram when you’re loaded.

So raise a glass, send a text, and thank God, Allah, or Ilaha the Syria mountain god, for your Single Girlfriend!

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