Saturday, October 16, 2010

Sh*t my attorneys say (and do)

I've been working with attorneys for six years now and like rhetoricians, two-year olds, and drunks, they say the darnedest things.  

~ "I don't like to sit in jeans"

~ "My signature looks fat"

~ "Never book me in a middle seat, that's where poor people sit"

~ "HR doesn't need to know about this"

But as the old adage goes, actions speak louder than words:

~ I once worked with an attorney who, despite being a completely upstanding family man, would roll into the office each day dressed like he'd just come off a hard drunk.  Tie-dyed T-shirt, acid washed jeans, three day beard.  Closing that day?  No problem, just stall the client while he shaves in the bathroom.

~ I once worked with an attorney who developed a dependence on Mirado Black Warrior No. 2 pencils.  He couldn't use anything else.  He'd special order boxes and boxes of them and stash them all over his office.  It was the cedar wood they were made from, he'd claim.  I guess it's true what they say, "Once you go black..." 

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