Thursday, November 4, 2010

The truth about dating a beautiful man

Now this isn't to say I haven't dated my share of attractive fellows—cause don't get me wrong—I have. But I've discovered there is a significant and profound difference between dating the average attractive guy and a painfully, ridiculously, over-the-top handsome man.
Exhibit A:

Paging Dr. Goodbody anyone? 

As the date approached, drinks after work, my anticipation grew. I passed the time by updating my e-mail signature block to read "Doctor’s Wife" which subsequently crashed my Outlook and provided my IT help desk administrator fifteen minutes of uproarious laughter.

So there’s a stereotype that men are superficial swine content to value appearance over more substantive traits like personality, ambition, or a basic mastery of the alphabet; while women, in contrast, need depth, insightfulness, and a full fledged melding of spirits to solidify attraction.

I did not find this to be the case. I realized the shocking extent of my own shallowness on the date with Dr. Goodbody. I couldn’t tell you what we talked about. He might well have been speaking in Portuguese. Rather than paying attention to what he was saying, I was simply thinking over and over again: "Hooooooooot. If I spill something on his shirt will he take it off??"

It could be that my utter lack of attention to the conversation resulted in the deficiency of future dates. At the end of the night, he hailed me a cab, gave me a squeeze, and went back to wherever it is that beautiful men go at the end of their day. But not without imparting a lasting impression on not only me but also my cab driver who commented, "My goodness that was a nice-looking man."

How right you are Ameed.

The lesson here: really, really, crazy good-looking men should not be allowed to just wander free. They should be kept in museums or parceled into companies like Netflix where women can rent them for an evening.