Punked by Punxsutawney

After promises from this deceptive rodent and a brief taste of warmer temperatures, we were coerced into thinking that winter might actually release its icy, rancorous, bitter grasp on the city…

…Kelly Ripa, 2 inches of sleet and a sub 30 degree forecast.

In a city with a climate that makes less sense than Glenn Beck during happy hour, it’s easy to get discouraged by the dark, looming, relentless, unending winter. But all you can do is grab an extra layer, cuddle up with a beau or a bottle, and remember that in six months, this town will be so scorchingly hot that the Potomac looks appealing. 

“To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring.” ~ W.J. Vogel

“I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.”~ Bill Watterson (Author of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes)

“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.” ~ Dave Barry

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ~ Albert Camus

“Every mile is two in winter.” ~ George Herbert

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”~ Hal Borland

Kill all the lawyers

Legal wisdom from William Shakespeare and others...

“I get paid for seeing that my clients have every break the law allows. I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men. But the guilty never escape unscathed. My fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.”  ~F. Lee Bailey

“Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.”
~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

“Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

“A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.” ~Mario Puzo, The Godfather

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” ~Robert Frost

“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. ” ~Stephen Wright

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” ~Groucho Marx

Eye of the Beholder

Why is it that every time I see the gorgeous salt-and-pepper partner at my firm, it's all I can do not to wind sprint down the hallway and stuff my panties in his pocket?

Beautiful people have a mysterious power, like wizards or El Niño. There are studies showing that newborns, free from social conditioning or influences, overwhelmingly prefer looking at what are conventionally considered attractive faces as compared to less attractive ones. But it's unclear what this means, aside from that newborns are perverts. Symmetrical features are associated with top shelf DNA so perhaps we're genetically drawn to attractive folks? I suppose...But the average person is quick to abandon a host of other evolutionary traits - for example the survival instinct through health and wellness - why does this one stick with us?

I exit this sociopsychological rotary at the idea that everyone - male, female, young, old - just likes to look at something lovely. In fact, on my morning commute, I sat across from an astoundingly beautiful woman and was entranced. Stop after stop, leering around the uggos and fatties who boarded and blocked my view, I literally could not stop staring at her. Probably to a point that was getting out of line. Environmental or biological factors aside, if I were a man, Metro Police would have quickly intervened, escorted me off the train in cuffs and announced: “There was an incident at Pentagon that has been resolved, we apologize for the delay.”

Here's to the Survivors

"How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." ~Trina Paulus

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~Albert Einstein

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." ~Albert Einstein

"Kites rise highest against the wind-not with it." ~Sir Winston Churchill

"If you're going through hell, keep going." ~Sir Winston Churchill